“If I could turn back time. If I could find a way I’d take back those words that hurt you…”
Anyone else hear Cher in their head right now?!
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the stories we tell ourselves and how they shape our lives. Yes, our family, friends, upbringing, and community play a large role in this but at some point we buy into a narrative and it can be good or bad, or a mix of both.
We wear these narratives like a backpack as we navigate through adolescence and adulthood, sometimes never stopping to realize that the old backpack can be slowing us down or taking up too much space in our lives. Does that resonate with you?
I feel like we all grow out of certain insecurities and into new ones, but even so, it’s important to stop and acknowledge the past so we can be more proactive about how we handle our insecurities in the future. So with that said, I’m going to be a little vulnerable with you and share what I would say if I could go back in time and tell my 20-year-old self three things…
1. Be patient
While it may not feel like it now or all the time, you are exactly where you’re supposed to be right now. When it comes to relationships (or lack thereof), school, friendships, and planning for your future, it’s so important to be patient and not always be looking to the future or you’ll miss out on the present. Trust God’s plan for you and open your eyes to what and who is in front of you right now. Don’t be in a rush to move out of this current stage in life because there’s something to be learned exactly where you are right now.
2. Don’t let comparison steal your joy
Oh man, this one is hard because it’s so ingrained in your mind but you need to stop comparing yourself to others. It doesn’t change your situation, your weight, your relationship status, and it certainly isn’t improving your happiness. Instead of simmering on what you wish you had/looked like, etc. list off 3 positive things about yourself or that you’re grateful for. This is a great way to combat comparison and recognize how you’re uniquely created and gifted.
3. You’re pretty awesome
Okay so now that I’ve told you not to compare yourself, I want you to know how awesome you are. Seriously. You’re about to embark on major adventures, stretch outside your comfort zone, build new friendships, be a positive presence for others, and you’re also about to begin the most important relationship of your life. While you may feel insecure about the path ahead of you, you’re going to navigate it like a champ and finally start to feel confident in yourself. Loving yourself and being proud of who you are doesn’t mean you’re arrogant and it’s okay to stand firm in who you are.
Friends, I share these things with you not because I have it all figured out or want to sound like I don’t have insecurities anymore… I share because I hope it helps you think through where you were, where you are now, and how you want to in the future.
Our mindset plays a HUGE role in how we journey through life’s ups and downs. Sometimes all we need to do is pause and take stock of the good things so that we can take the next step.
So cheers to reminding ourselves to be careful of the words we use and the thoughts we choose as they shape and mold our story.
